Gale of Laughter
by xxxAceBlade
Summary: Orre is under threat again from an incompetent mafia, and its only hope rests in the hands of an equally incompetent child. Join Michael as he valiently attempts to rescue Orre's pokemon from having Pac-man machines implanted in their hearts. VERY OOC. Loosely follows XD Gale of Darkness plotline.
1. Chapter 1

Gale of Laughter

Chapter 1

Boat Jacking

"Master Greevil sir!"

"Not now Auras, I've nearly got that bastard…"

The blue-cloaked, blue-haired, blue-eyed man ground his teeth in frustration. "Sir, XD001 is approaching the S.S. Libra."

"That's wonderful-DAMN YOU BLINKY!" Furiously, the little man threw the DS across the room. Throwing out a pokeball, he yelled. "ZAPDOS, DESTROY BLINKY."

Lightning split the air and Blinky was no more.

"Sir? XD001 needs the verification orders."

"Shut up." The midget pouted. "I'm in withdrawal."

"Sir?"

"I think I'm addicted to Pac-man."

Taking a deep breath, Auras spoke again. "Our plan to take over the world, sir."

"Oh, yeah. We must steal useless Pokémon, rip out their hearts and replace said hearts with DSs."

"Sir, XD001 won't move without your permission."

"Did you tell Eldis to pick up Happy Meals for everyone? We must celebrate Blinky's demise!"

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

Eldis clung grimly to the back of the huge flying bird.

"What do you mean, he's having Pac-man withdrawals? XD001 and I have been hovering above this stupid ship for fifteen minutes now! The damn bird won't listen to me!"

Auras' voice came in a burst of static over the radio. "I'll try sort out the situation on my end. Meanwhile, you try convince XD001 that it doesn't need Master Greevil to tell it everything." The line went dead.

Groaning, Eldis tried talking to XD001 again.

_Come on man! All you gotta do is pick up the damn ship and carry it off. I mean, it's like the smallest cruise ship in existence. With your amazing psychic powers, this should be a breeze!_

_Do you ever feel underappreciated? _ XD001's telepathic response sounded hollow and morose. _Tis fate's cruel vice that I am bound to suffer. Woe betide me and all those who wish fortune turn my way._

Eldis grimaced. Greevil had insisted on making XD001 so miserable that it lived to serve its master. If anyone else tried to get it to do anything, they were merely drowned by the endless tide of misery.

XD001 was still bemoaning his existence. _Tis a bitter truth that the tides of fortune must always be turned against me. Would that there were any escape from this life of failure. _XD001 expressively swept one of its wings out, forgetting his precariously perched passenger.

"Oh sh-ahhhh!" Eldis' scream was whipped away by the wind as he plummeted towards the raging ocean.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"Sir, a man has fallen off of the bird!"

"I'll save him!" Seconds later, a very soggy red man flew over the side of the boat.

"Dude, it doesn't count if you use a Starmy!"

Groaning, Eldis rolled over and looked at the captain and the first mate, who were the only people on the boat. It was, after all, a very small cruise ship.

Raising his eyes to the heavens, he spotted XD001, still hovering morosely beneath the clouds.

"He's not talking. Quick cap'n, give 'im some mouth-to-mouth!"

"Right on it mate!"

Panicking, Eldis tried to back away as the captain advanced on him. Unfortunately, epic robes do not give one much maneuverability…especially when wet.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"Auras, you're such a failure." Greevil was ranting about nothing in particular now. Auras felt frustration building in him.

"Master Greevil, remember our plot for world domination?"

"Your brother Eldis is so much better than you are."

Auras sighed. "Yes sir, we've already established that he's a better trainer than I am."

"_Eldis_ can make toast."

"No he can't! He burned it this morning!" Arceus, why on earth was he taking part in this argument?

"Were you in the kitchen at the time?"

"…Yes?"

"That's why it burned." Greevil nodded happily to himself.

He continued. "Your brother sees my dream in its full light." The old man spun in a circle, his arms raised to the ceiling. "It is our great duty to randomly steal peoples' Pokémon and rip their hearts out for no particular reason."

"Sir, about that plan, XD001 is waiting for your orders."

"XD001?" Greevil looked at him, puzzled.

Auras sighed. "The ultimate shadow Pokémon? The one that can never be purified?"

Greevil scratched his chin. "Not ringing a bell…"

"We sent it out with Eldis; they were going to steal the S.S. Libra."

"Eldis is out there?"

Seeing something click in the Master's eyes, Auras felt hope rising in him. "Yes, he needs you to order XD001 to pick up the ship."

Tears came to the old man's eyes. "Daddy's pride and joy; my own little munchkin out there fighting against all that is good in the world."

Auras took a deep, calming breath. "Yes, _he needs your help_."

Greevil looked at Auras disapprovingly. "Eldis is out there fighting for our cause while you stand here and do nothing."

"Sir―"

"Silence! It appears that I am doomed to have you living under my roof until I die!"

"Master, this is getting us nowhere…"

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

'Daddy's pride and joy' was currently curled up in a ball in the middle of the S.S. Libra's deck. Standing above him were two very concerned sailors.

"I don' believe it," Mumbled the First Mate, scratching his chin absently. "We've tried darn near everything."

"Le's see," the Captain said. "Firs' we gave 'im some good ol' mouth-ter-mouth, then we tries the trusty Heimlich. Well, tha' didn' work, so we gave 'im some rum."

Eldis shuddered as he remember the burly men pinning him to the ground, forcing his jaw open, and dumping the foul tasting liquid down his throat. Added to the Heimlich and the mouth-to-mouth, Eldis was now scarred for life.

Gathering as much of his dignity, Eldis hauled himself to his feet, somewhat weighed down by his wet robes. Straightening his back, he gave the men what he hoped was a disdainful look.

"Master Greevil sends his greetings." He pulled out a pokeball, releasing a large dragon-like Pokémon.

"Salamence, whirlwind." He sighed in satisfaction as the two men were blown off the deck.

Turning towards XD001, he pulled out his radio, which was fortunately waterproof.

"Eldis here, how is it going on your end?"

There was a long pause, and then Auras' voice came through. "Not well. He's busy telling me what a failure I am."

Eldis groaned. "Pass the radio to him; maybe I can talk him around."

"You sure there's no chance of you talking XD001 around? I think that would be easier."

"No chance, it knocked me off its back; I'm on the Libra now."

There was a rush of static as Auras sighed, followed by a pause. "Alright, here he is."

A split second later, Greevil's voice came through. "My son, my golden child! What can Daddy do for you today?"

"I need you to tell this damn bird to pick up the damn ship!"

"Ooh, that's what Auras was talking about. Why is he calling it XD001? All I've ever called it is 'damn bird'. Sure, anything for my son."

Obviously, XD001 must have gotten the message, because a second later Eldis was teleported back onto its back. There was a buzz of power in the air and the S.S. Libra slowly rose out of the waves.

_Oh, pity be mine that I should be burdened with such a task. _XD001's melodramatic voice rang in Eldis' head. _To be forever chained with the bonds of slavery._

"Damn bird." was the only response to that.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"Eldis reports that they have made it about half-way to the factory by now."

Greevil was now happily spinning in circles in his hoverchair.

"SIR! I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU MISTER SIR. SIR, IF YOU WOULD PLEASE HEAR ME OUT SIR!" An insanely buff peon roared from the doorway.

Greevil stopped spinning. He looked at the peon, his eyes a little unfocused. "What is the message?"

"SIR! OUR CONTACTS IN PHENAC HAVE REPORTED THE IMMINENT RELEASE OF THE NEW PAC-MAN CONSOLE SIR!"

Greevil grabbed the radio from Auras. Clearing his throat importantly, he raised it to his mouth.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

After several hours in the desert, Eldis' clothes were finally dry. He still had a nasty taste on his tongue though.

Greevil's voice issued forth from his radio. "Damn bird, drop everything! We have an appointment to make!"

"Wait, don't drop the…"

But the S.S. Libra was already plummeting towards the sandy desert.

**A/N I know that there are a lot of parodies for the various Pokémon games, but I have yet to see one for Gale of Darkness. This is really sad, because there are a lot of characters that you could really go OOC on. **

**Just a few character snippets: **

**Greevil is loosely based off of Mr. D. from Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

**XD001 was inspired by Marvin the Robot from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. All I did was add in a little Shakespeare.**

'**Damn you Blinky' is a slightly modified line from Percy Jackson and the Olympians. In The Last Olympian, Mr. D. calls down an ancient curse upon Blinky. I merely swapped out the Greek words for 'Damn you', which seemed more applicable to this story.**

**Please review.**


	2. Gateon Port

Gale of Laughter

Chapter 2

Gateon Port

Salamence used HYPER BEAM!

It's a CRITICAL HIT!

Its…super effective?

Salamence WINS!

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"Oh yeah!" Michael fist-pumped as he jumped off the simulator. "I totally won that!"

In the background he failed to notice Professor Krane cursing colorfully.

Whooping, he ran out the door. "I'm gonna tell _everyone_."

Sighing, Krane turned to the Battle Sim Tech (BS Tech).

"I told you not to make it obvious that we let him win! Once he tells everyone that Hyper Beam was super effective, they'll uncover our plot for sure!"

"Our plot, sir?" The BS tech said quizzically.

"Yes!" Krane spread his arms out. "Our plot to convince his mother to let him run off and die all alone in the wilderness."

The BS tech shook his head gravely. "I highly doubt she'll agree to that, sir."

"Oh we don't have to tell her that he'll DIE, we just have to tell her he's off to save the world or some cheesy crap like that; I don't know, you're the one with 'BS' in front of your name!"

"Sir, I know BS when I see it; you're just trying to get in his mother's pants."

**A/N Okay, quick note here: I'm not quite sure if Krane is Michael's father, or if Michael even has a dad anywhere. For the sake of the story, Krane is simply trying to get Michael out of the way so that he can get with his mother. As for Michael's father…well, you'll just have to wait for that one…he he he:)**

"His mother doesn't wear pants…"

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"Psst." Michael was distracted by the noise coming out from under the table.

"Omigod, it's a TARANTULA!" He screamed. "EEVEE, ANNIHILATE IT!"

"Vee?" The brown furball looked up quizzically.

"Geez," A mousy-haired kid stood up from under the table. "Michael, it's just me, Leroy."

"HYPER BEAM!"

Eevee used Hyper Beam.

But it failed.

"What is this black magic? My name is Inigo Montoya, you kilt-oh hi Leroy."

Leroy drew a shaky breath. "Do you know where Jovi is? We were playing hide-and-go-seek. I've been under that table for about four hours now."

"Never fear!" Michael said heroically. "She's…upstairs."

Then he paused. "Wait, we don't have stairs…"

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

Eldis and Auras sat together in the pub. The hustle and bustle of sailors around them masked their sinister conversation.

"Look, he's a complete idiot. We should just kill him and take our inheritance."

Eldis sighed. "The only reason that we can't do that is that the damn bird won't listen to anyone else."

Auras ground his teeth together. "I've set our best minds on that problem. I returned XD001 to its eerie by the factory. Ein and his techs are running tests right now; if we can get it fixed, then we'll have a clear shot."

The red-robed man leaned back in his seat. "That might work…" He mused.

"It will work." Auras insisted. "We're already running Cipher as it is; all _he's_ doing is sitting around playing Pac-man and criticizing me."

Eldis chuckled. "Then why kill him?" He held up his hand to stave off his brother's angry reply. "Listen, if we kill him, we lose about 30% of his money to posthumous taxes. Also, even if we do get the damn bird to listen to us, he is the only one that can communicate with Cipher's Admins on their own wavelength. To be honest, the only admin that I think I could stand a chance controlling is Snattle, and that's just because he's obsessed with getting the governing position. Lovrina and Gorigan? On most days, I'm lucky if I can get five minutes of work out of Lovrina before she has to take a two hour break to fix her makeup. And Gorigan is just a wild card.

"I know that you think it would be better to just fire half the Admins, but below them are dozens of peons who have learned to work with them. The current system might be a drag at times, but we will just have to work with it."

Auras sighed, defeated by his brother's logic. "Alright, but I still want to make sure we leave ourselves with an opening. Stay close to him, and if it turns out that he is going to be more of a hassle than a benefit, then we kill him."

"All right." Eldis nodded, standing up. Auras rose as well. "Now we need to find him before he causes too much trouble…"

He froze, looking out the dirty window. "Oh shit…" He breathed. Without another word, he raced out, Auras in close pursuit.

Outside, Greevil was standing on top of the parts shop, his cloak billowing in the wind.

"Greetings, citizens of Gateon! Today, you are all my slaves!" His voice rang out from the loudspeakers that Gorigan had rigged up for him.

Their robes flapping in the wind, Auras and Eldis sprinted across the dock. "Still think we should keep him alive?" Auras asked Eldis.

Eldis merely grimaced before he pulled out his Salamence. "Try to disable the speakers with Electabuzz. I'll get Father."

Salamence quickly rose on an updraft, carrying Eldis with it.

Auras scowled, bringing Electabuzz out. Now was not the time for subtlety. "Thunderbolt the speakers."

A blinding flash followed by an explosion. Greevil's maniacal laughter was abruptly cut off.

"Hey! What was that about?" Gorigan was angrily approaching Auras.

Auras felt anger rising in him. Lightning fast, he leapt forward and grabbed Gorigan by his vest. Slamming him against the wall, Auras looked directly into his eyes.

"Listen," he growled. "Eldis and I have staked so much on this venture! We can't have you screwing it up with your little stunts here!" He held the pale man up for a few minutes for effect, then let him slide down. With a look of disdain, Auras turned on his heel, striding off towards the Parts Shop.

He arrived just as Eldis was hauling a very confused Greevil off towards their cruise ship.

"But our plans for world domination!" Greevil was wailing. Sighing, Auras followed.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"No, Mary, this is absolutely _not_ going to harm him in any way."

Michael's mother still looked worried. "Are you sure? I mean, it's a long way to Gateon."

Professor Krane gave a self-important huff. "I assure you, I've been carefully monitoring Michael's battle sims; there is absolutely no one else in the lab capable of fetching this part." Granted, the part was completely unimportant. The purification set did not _really_ need another loose bolt, but it would get Michael out of the way.

"Besides," he continued. "Michael is being trained to capture shadow Pokémon. We must see if he can handle himself in the real world."

Mary appeared to consider this. "Well, okay," she sighed. "Just so long as Jovi goes with him."

Prof. Krane nodded enthusiastically. That would get them _both _out of the way. "I really couldn't agree more! Didn't you say she had a friend in Gateon?"

"Yes…"

"Then it's settled! We'll send them off immediately!" A glorious set of scenarios played out in his mind. All of them were possible!

Without letting Mary get another word in, Krane raced off.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"YES!" Michael howled as he leapt on his scooter. "I'm finally on my Pokémon journey!"

"Not really dear," a very concerned Mary said. "You're just going to pick up a part from the shop in Gateon." But her words were lost on her son, who was already disappearing into the dust.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

Eldis and Auras were in council.

"Look, we really can't have him messing up our plans." Auras hissed, taking a look back into the game room. His concern was groundless; Greevil was still happily engaged with his new Pac-man machine.

Eldis shook his head. "Killing him is a serious step. We need to make sure we do it right."

Auras sighed as he leaned back. _Now _they were getting somewhere. "How are we going to do it?"

Eldis looked back into the room. "First," he muttered. "We get him _really _drunk."

"Why?" Auras didn't see the need.

Eldis fixed him with a hard stare. "If we're going to take over, we need to make sure the Admins respect us. This means that they can't respect _him_. If we get him to make a fool of himself, then they'll be that much more willing to work with us."

"And XD001?"

"We'll work out what to do with the damn bird later. For now, let's get him drunk."

Auras grinned. "I know just the place…"

**A/N Okay, so if you can't tell, this is going to focus a lot more on Greevil than the game does. **

**Please people, review, review, review! I like feedback!**

**Also, I'm planning on making a few oneshots using the characters from Gale of Laughter. I'm thinking about expanding on the toast theme…**

**Isn't this sinister? Eldis and Auras plotting to kill their own father? Evil knows no bounds. Obviously, they don't succeed. Otherwise, Michael wouldn't last long…**

**I don't know how this would be received, so I thought I'd run it by my readers first: What do you all think of Wes and Rui becoming characters in the fic? Just a couple brief sketches…**

**Wes: Complete bad-ass. The James Bond of Pokémon and the MacGyver of the sands. Basically, he wouldn't do all the work, but he would become Michael's mentor…**

**Rui: Supernatural chick. I mean, she sees auras around Pokémon right? So she's got to be a little cracked up in the head.**

**So you have two options: Wes and Rui in this fic, OR Wes and Rui in their own series of oneshots? Poll will be posted up on my profile.**

**xxxAceBlade OUT.**


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